Judging by the m
ail I receive, the chastity cage is essentially a male fantasy. Many men contact me on an almost daily basis, asking me to give them advice on how to convince their wives. Their problem is that they have the desire to wear a cage, but they don't know how to broach the subject (their desire for chastity and/or controlled sexuality) with their wives, fearing their reaction to a request that is objectively still not very common.
I rarely respond to these emails for two reasons:
- If I started counseling men who asked me, I would soon be doing nothing more than that during the day.
- I don't want to give in to fantasy and allow men to think of me as a virtual dominatrix.
That's why, the few times I answer, I always invite the man to talk with his partner, and that it is rather her who contacts me for any question or request for advice.
Having said that, I decided to make this page in order to list a few tips that will allow men whose wives have never heard of the cage to orient them towards the subject... and maybe to feel like trying it.
First of all, there is the form: you know that women are more into the implicit, the suggestive and the unspoken than men. Clearly, you have to know how to put the forms to your request. If you say outright: "Honey, what would you say if I wore a chastity cage? you have little chance that it will go well, especially if your wife is not inclined to erotic fantasies! You should therefore avoid this type of direct formulation, and trick her in such a way as to give her the impression that she is the one who discovered the subject, or in any case make sure to arouse her curiosity on the question of the cage.
Let's say you have no idea how to approach the issue with her. The first trick is to "accidentally" leave open a web page or two on the subject on your home computer. You don't need to have half a dozen bookmarks open (it will be too much of a set-up), but one well-chosen page will suffice. Avoid SM-oriented sites or sites that focus too much on male submission, this will only scare her away: she will think "This is a sick thing" and she will not want to hear about it anymore. Prefer a site that presents the advantages of using the cage in the "classic" couple and that puts forward arguments to which all women are sensitive: strengthened complicity with the partner; assurance of fidelity; increased attention of the man towards the woman, etc. Of course, my blog is perfectly suitable for this purpose, but you are free to choose another one if you find better - or more in line with your desires - elsewhere :)
You can also try to find articles in women's magazines (Elle, Biba, Cosmo, Marie-Claire, etc.) about this issue. Not easy to find, but it seems that the subject is starting to interest the journalists of these magazines (women in general) and that the subject is slowly coming out of the taboo. So keep an eye on the headlines of women's magazines when you go to the newsstand, and buy those whose subject matter may be close to your desire for chastity.
Of course, once your wife finds out about it, she'll want to know why you're interested in the subject. Again, don't be too direct. Don't betray your impatience, don't act as if it's urgent that you try the cage too. Be euphemistic and say that this subject interested you, even "disturbed" you... and especially that the arguments developed on the site or in the article seem worthy of interest. Don't do anything more at this stage, and especially don't do anything that would make him think that you want to be his "submissive". The vast majority of women and wives have no desire to see a husband become a submissive dog; however, if the right arguments are presented, they are much more likely to accept their validity than one might think. If you present these arguments, insist on the following 3 points in particular:
- 1/ reinforcement of the complicity in the couple.
- 2/ exclusivity towards your wife and assurance of fidelity.
- 3/ improvement of the male behavior towards more attention and gallantry.
Talk about your desire to use the cage not as a need for absolute chastity (of course your wife wants to continue to have sex with you!), but rather as a way to control your sexuality so that your desire is entirely directed towards her, and her alone. Present it as a proof of love, a desire for total and exclusive commitment, and that the cage trial will be a test for you to see if, indeed