Role and mission of the keyholder in male chastity 2/3
Some people look at it with a deeply provocative perspective - that the caged one will find his pleasure in pleasing you and pleasing you. Ultimately, a chastity device can cause him to continually think about his keyholder's needs rather than his own - while you can certainly manipulate the situation to make this happen; his pleasure comes after yours and the sexual release he desires will only happen when you are satisfied - it's important to remember that his being caged is also about him. You are not necessarily secondary to this - but his actions, his desires are now the result of his caging. How you use this creative and sexual energy is entirely up to you.
What if I'm not interested in being a Keyholder?
So, if your partner has discovered the strength and courage to let you know that he is thinking about chastity devices - don't dismiss him, don't make fun of him, don't belittle the activity. Remember that he has just shared something intimate with you and that communication should be encouraged. One thing I have learned in this industry is
Don't make fun of someone's pleasure.
Gently put it aside, say you need time because you're a little overwhelmed and then do your own research - make it clear that you'll get back to them when you're ready. Even if you're dead set against the idea of a chastity cage, do some research anyway. This will indicate that you've seriously considered the idea, that you recognize how important it is to him, and that you'll strengthen the relationship anyway.
What's so special about it?
Chastity between an adoring couple is unique, attractive and moving. It's a rare closeness between the two of you that you can keep secret - when the submissive comes out, it may be only you and him who know he's locked up. The sexual relationship between the two of you is likely to change as well - that doesn't mean it will change completely, but it can change in very subtle and profound ways. Taking away her sexual energy and her ability to channel it can allow her to refocus that energy on something else. You may find that she is refocused on you, or maybe it will be work, family, life or even a combination of all of these!
Will I have less sex now that he is caged?
Male chastity is about sharing his sexual dream and meeting your sexual needs. His obsession with chastity is to satisfy you - however, you don't necessarily have to take advantage of the fact that he's wearing the chastity device by making him clean! (Unless this is the type of relationship you both agreed upon beforehand). This is a loving, caring and mutually supportive relationship, not one that should result in physical, emotional or mental abuse.
Wearing a chastity device does not mean that your man is sexually deficient. He can be virile, sexually capable, and enjoy wearing a chastity cage while remaining virile and constantly aroused. You don't necessarily have to deal with him in the bedroom either - you can still get him to make the first move. Chastity is simply about controlling your sexual energy. When you're in the mood, you can tease him with sexy lingerie while he's still chaste.
Being the key holder to your caged man offers a satisfying sexual coexistence in a way that is often fun, exciting and joyful. A way in which his thoughts and pleasures are focused on you rather than his cock. Keep in mind that many people think that sexual activity must involve penetrative sex. By removing penetration, you can fundamentally change the sexual nature of your relationship. Sex and sexuality may have more to do with the joys of foreplay and exploring each other's bodies. By removing the act of penetration, it will allow sexual energy to focus more on these activities than anything else.
Should she be allowed to ejaculate?
Yes, the regularity of this practice is up to you. He will probably recommend the right time and give it to you in his own way, but it's important to remember that it's your choice and only you can hold the key. Don't give in to him every time - otherwise he won't appreciate how easy it is to reach his sexual climax.